Review of Transformers 3

Rating-great

Sorry I am so late on this post but I tried to do a week to week review of Torchwood but my hate of the new main character lead to my ranting for paragraphs and I couldn't stop. OK on to the review at hand and OMFG this movie ruled(to me)I say (to me) because I have a very specific taste quadrant and this movie hit all of them. I am a lover of wanton tasteless excessive violence and terror being hoisted on everyone in the movie in such a way that it becomes comical. This film is great to me but I can easily see how someone would say it was good awful as it was loud and disjointed and ended abruptly on top of all the violence which was excessive so if that's not your thing you will want to bail on this. If your are into one second watching a humorous exchange between the main character and his parents and not even 6 minutes later watch city blown to hell with screaming people being shot in the back as they flee this is the film for you. I am going to to list the top two things to me(if you don,t already know what is number 1) hope you enjoy it. P.S captain America will be seen and reviewed by next Tuesday.





1.Violence Violence and more violence and a side of malicious terror being inflicted on everyone.

WOW if it wasn't the fact that a city was attacked and millions of people were killed or maimed or was it the transformers themselves whose heads and spines and eyes were mutilated at every turn. I mean I don,t know where to start here as there was so much to chose from movie wide. If for some reason you didn't buy the transformer on transformer violence(i don't know about that figuring how they screamed and plead for there lives all movie long) there was TONS of people being maimed on and off screen. The best(or worse) display of this was when the decipticons were sacking a major city they were chasing and shooting people as they fled and one was a woman who while screaming was blasted and her skull popped out. That scene was the one which told me "oh they ain't fucking around huh?" it was as gratuitous a movie as everything was killed or in some cases menaced with violence all movie long. By menace I mean there was 4+ scenes were people and transformers were threatened with being shot in the back of the head and in some cases they were. I can go on and on about this but how do I choose between one guy falling from the sky on fire or another having his spine torn out? Answer is you don,t





2-Hipster megatron
This was so awesome to me to be honest. The fact that megatron spent 2 hours tooling about as a mad max truck rocking a hipster urban outfitter scarf is AMAZING. That would be cool if that was that but he also during most of the violence(see number 1) he was hanging loose in a alley being detached and ironic with his scarf flowing in the breeze. I like to think he had some fleet foxes and iron and wine on his ipod while blogging how over cyberwilliamsburg has become due to Lamestreamers.

Review of James Bond Quantum of solace or how bourne killed this series

rating-decent-meh

Sup folks Time for another review/opinion piece this time we tackle the franchise killer that is Quantum of solace. This was the last James bond movie made and for all intents and purposes was a success in regards to $$$ (Budget $200 million
Gross revenue $586,090,727) but in terms of continuing a series it was AWFUL.



First thing first lets go into the whats and whys of this movie. Its picks up pretty much right after "Casino Royale" and almost right away they "borrow" from the bourne series and when its not doing that its tripping all over itself stylistically. The plot is that a organization is trying to manipulate the worlds resources to maintain wealth and power. This sounds exciting and dramatic but in essence its really just a rapey Frenchman stealing water from Boliva. In the history of bond that has to be the weakest arc ever. The bond women consisted of a girl who he met and bedded and was killed in the span of 15 min and a Russian tanned to play a Spanish girl who he never slept with. The movie flowed well and the action made sense in the spots that there was action so no complaints there. The issue I think was the willful decision to be a bourne film and in doing so killed the series dead.



The Bourne series which is one of my favorite collection of films caused this and Let me show you why. Every shaky cam Krav Maga style fight and parkour jump roof to roof in this movie screams Bourne. Its as if they made a decision to copy all of what was cool in the Bourne films without realizing they were doing a bond movie. I saw Casino Royale and like most people enjoyed it but deep down I was scared that in the reboot they would change what made James Bond James Bond with this moody asshole. I am not saying go back to the foolishness that was die another day but a middle ground should be found. If they made a fourth Bourne film where he met a girl with a silly double entandre name and bedded her at the conclusion of the adventure we would bitch. I think another reboot(i hate this practice BTW) is in order which pretends the last two movies never happened and get back to easy to build on Bond action and save the innovation for movies like Bourne and Hanna.

Review of the first Half of season 6 of Dr Who

meh-ok

Hey folks as you know I am a huge Doctor Who fan so much so that I almost rubber stamped this epic and kept it moving. I am not doing this however because there was HUGE holes that I cannot ignore. Knowing that they had a few episodes before they went off for the summer and you know we waited ninth months since the end of season 5 the episode selection was sub par in my opinion. When the season started It was all good one hundred million percent. Impossible astronaut/Day of the moon was fantastic feeling more like a Movie then episodes of a TV show. I truly enjoyed how much set up for the season was done making my anticipation for the series ramp up to a fever pace by the time the credits rolled. Then something sad happened "the curse of the black spot" come on and stopped everything with a useless episode. This thing was so banal and cheap that I was shocked that it was even made to be honest. This is the first time I took notice of Moffets things that are ever present being dangers(statues,reflections,12 foot aliens that erase themselves from your mind. Also the villain the pie faced Lily Cole turns out to be a space nurse and the pirate thing was grating.



Then like a gift from god himself "the doctors wife" came on and was so fantastic that I got mad at how bad last weeks episode was and how a week was wasted on crap. This story gave a nod to the History of Dr Who and had genuine heart from beginning to end. The only issue I had was over used "Rory is dead or dying" device which has me no longer caring one way or the other. The next episode was fine enough but having a second 2 part episode in a short season was stupid. Also This episode introduces a plot device(the use of fake flesh to create doubles) which was then used to create shitty tension over and over again until the end of the half season. The final episode was good as I enjoy a bad ass Doctor but it showed the full seasons hand and I am kind of left wanting more. I know that anything can happen with 6 full episodes to go but something tells me what we have is what we will end up with more or less. The cliffhanger was not hard to work out and is getting more and more annoying as time goes on. I dislike river song at this point and march closer to hate with every smug appearance. In conclusion this was not the worst thing ever and had some real bright spots but sadly the shitty pacing and curse of the black spot kept this from being great.

Review of XMen First Class

Rating ok/decent

Before I start let me say that I loved this movie and this made the first 3 movies seem like utter pieces of dog feces in comparison. I want to get the few negative things out the way before I start gushing about how great this was. Firstly the black guy died first and the other lack person betrayed them for real x men first class? This was not so much a negative in the grand scheme of things as much as it was such a odd choice that it was hard to not think about it over and over again. I mean its 2011 and we still have black people dying in the name of giving the hero motivation come on we are better then this. Other then that there was some small pacing issues and some no name no talk henchmen(flesh out the henchmen please)it was a enjoyable flick


The main reason this movie ruled in my opinion was the wonderful performance of Micheal Fassanbender as magneto. He seemed to have the willful rage down pat and I think his being mad about his mother being killed was a more believable motivation for violence then that of a mutant terrorist. I also liked the main villian which I believe was the downfall of the last 3 movies. Magneto is all well and good but kevin bacon,s Sebastian Shaw was a breath of fresh air. I think having a villain that is pure evil as opposed to a natural violent progression of the heroes idealogy a welcome thing. The plot in a nutshell is the idea that the Russian missile crisis is the machination of a mutant who believes that after world war 3 the world would be only hospitable to mutant kind. This is buoyed by the interlaced story of charles Xavier and magnetos eventual friendship and split and the emergence of mutants to the world stage. In closing This flick was everything Thor wasn,t exieting and thoughtful and above all else memrable

Brief info on Review

Hey folks I realized that I do a whole lot of reviews and I realized I need a ratings system. So I have come up with a "Epic-ok/decent-ok/meh-pure and utter trash" system. Epic would be a work of entertainment that is beyond reproach and can be rewatched over and over such as law and order and commando. Decent/ok is a movie that is good and for the most part a enjoyable experience. The only ting separating a Ok/decent from epic is the ability to watch it over and over again. Decent/meh is something that is not awful but not good either. This is something where maybe you can appreciate it on some level but not on a level in which you enjoy it. Then what in most cases is the best rating which is Pure and utter trash. This is something that is broken to the point that is almost great. I hope this makes my reviews easier to use in your entertainment decisions.

review of game of thrones season 1 so far.

Hey folks This is the way after the fact review of HBO,s fantasy drama and some(me) would say comedy game of thrones. I say that its a comedy not in the its unintentionally bad funny but more of the "god damn that happened" funny. Lets start from the beginning. A Game of Thrones is the first book in A Song of Ice and Fire, a series of epic fantasy novels by American author George R. R. Martin. I have not read this book nor do I want to be frank as this looks like a tough read from all the stuff happening on screen. I been watching the show via on demand at my moms house as I do not have HBO yet(weep for me) but what started as a "there's nothing else on lets see what this is about" to appointment TV has been a welcome surprise.One last thing this is a dense fantasy with a equally dense back story and mythos that just goes with little to no exposition to catch you up. So if you are not a fan of fantasy or don,t have the patience or desire to be lost several times a episode then take a pass on this show.




This show Takes place after war deposing a king who was from all accounts sort of a dick and is seen from the Point of view of several people in this new era in the land. The crux of the show is the death of the kings hand who is kind of a major Domo who handles the day to day business of the king. After he dies the king calls on his old friend a Lord of the northern territory to take his place and in doing so sets of a chain of events that leads to and not limited to (royal incest,royal cuckolding,the crippling of a child,the death of a dog, the flying of a butchers son, and a lot of backdoor politics). As insane as this sounds its played out in a very interesting way that has purpose and is not excessive. while this is going on there is a side plot of the son and daughter of the old king in exile which is equally as good. The daughter is married off to a nomadic tribes king with the promise of the use of his army to retake the kingdom that was lost to him. The daughter who starts off being meek and very much the victim by episode four is able to dictate to her abusive brother that his abusing days are over. This is great how the different stories interact without actually touching in any way. I know I have barely covered the surface but I want to leave some space for episode reviews that I will start with this weeks episode and continue until the end of the season. In closing this show is great but not for everyone as its a load of stuff to keep track of and to recall very quickly or stuff stops making sense.

Re Watching the classics

I am a avid TV watcher both now and then. I just recently watched the chappelle show after I want to say 3 years of never seeing it and I am laughing at it like its my first time. Not every show can be watched over and over again to the same effect. But the time between watching is different between shows i have noticed. Shows that rely on jokes that have HUGE payoffs like sketch comedies(mr show,snl,chappelle show etc..)or seinfeldesque or Simpsons show where the punchline is pop culture in itself. Shows like star trek and dramas are infinity hard to rewatch as the crux of the show is the beginning and the end and the suspense of getting from point a to B. Knowing what will happen up front kills the suspense for me making the show hard to get into a second time. I figure any show that is awesome should be least ready for reviewing in at least a year and gets better every year after.

Baseball is fun...right?

Let me start by saying I love baseball I always have. I loved the yankess and baseball as well long before I even know how football was played but alas even with that history I am a football guy first and a baseball guy second. I realize that baseball what is still the recognized as the national pastime can be slow and boring and a bit overwhelming with its rules and procedures. I am of the mind that baseball suffers from 2 fatal flaws which are coincidentally its greatest traits. Firstly the fact that baseball demands a working knowledge of the game it inspires passion that only soccer can match. The thing is as with soccer most people do not have the working knowledge of the game. Other then strike out and home run most people will not see the skill of the sac bunt and moving runs over and bullpen management. this stuff is not entertaining in the casual way footballs run throw hit dynamic is. You can not tell the diffrence between a cover 2 or a 46 you will enjoy a tackle and if you do not know a shotgun or a I a touchdown is a touchdown. The second reason is the fact that baseball is taught not picked up. This means that you cant be taught baseball on the drive to the ballpark it takes years and a patient teacher(dad or grandfathers normally)I suspect football is learned by most people during a superbowl party or in a social situation football is on(bar,party,etc..) I think the fact that baseball requires the skill and the effort that its impossible to do anything casually let alone follow it. I am a fan but I will admit that I watched 0 pitches of the world series this year and according to the ratings I wasnt alone.