Review of Underworld Awakening

Hey look at me updating on time and shit. How is life on the other side of the monitor Today we dig into the 4th(thats right the 4th) installment of the Underworld Franchise where we are told things have changed so dont exeoct the same old same old. well after watching I can say it was the same old same old but with a longer build up to get to it. I saw this on a "extended Lunch Break" and was going in with Low expections figuring this was a fourth installment of a so so francise. Apprantly the humans find out about vampires and werewolves(how they do not say) and proceed to commit genocide in the first 5 min of the movie. I can say it wasnt terrible right off the bat as I sort of knew what I was getting into which was not much. The premise of the last 3 movies was explained the war between vampire and werewolf blah blah blah. Long story short the werewolves are the bad guys again and two hours and several decent action scenes and a selena Gomez look alike getting smacked around a bit and it was over. Should you see this? well chances are you already have if you should and havent if you shouldnt.

Top Three Moments in the Die Hard Series

Hey folks (insert apology for delay here). I have been meaning to do another Top three moments as they seem to be pretty popular but I had no idea what to write on. I knew it had to be about a 80s/90s action movie but which one? I settled on Die Hard as I after several months of heavy drinking topped off with a two day bender that had me wondering if I would die i watched all four. This marathon gave me keen insight into the choices made from one film to the other and what Moments made the most sense to include in this list.The story of Die Hard is the story of the wrong place at the wrong time fly in the very meticulusly planned ointment. I hope these do the great John Mcclane proud.

1#Die hard 1 dramatic build up to Carl Winslow Ghosting a Dude
It starts with Hans gruber systematicly breaking into a building to steal some bonds with a Motley crew of mercs who all have a role in the most involved(until part 2 and then again in part 3) olan of all time so involved he needed a nerdy black guy who made bad jokes(more on this guy next month. he was baited into thinking he was invincible and his men slowly killed. This leads to him getting hs come uppence and uncerimoniously tossed out a window. This leads to John Mclane Meeting up with his eyes outside The loveable Carl Winslow who was on his way home from procurring donuts and got the call to investigate claims of monkey shines at the building in question. As the two friends embrace a thug mclane shot and hung brandishes a gun and Carl Winslow digs deep and Mercs this dude with Ruthless efficiency he would later use on the sitcom Family Matters.


2#No one from Die hard 2 and on not getting the Memo not to Fuck With John Mclane
Like really why would anyone not read a Goddamn paper and realize its not worth it? He for all intents and purposes is a cop but he never arrests anyone or investigates anything really and the little deduduction he has seems tempered by booze and regret. What he was however was a Killer who never had to answer for anyting and seemed to be able to kill with no regard to due process. In two he killed trained black OPs mercs and James from Good times by kicking him into a Jet. Then In 3 he goes up against Hans grubers brother who its looks understands what the fuck Mclane was about but nope he to thought his God damn army could stop the walking personifaction of death that is John Mclane...WRONG!. By the fourth move Tim Olyphant should of mission abort the second he heard John Mcl... let alone his full name and take his kid hostage?!?!? are you kidding me? That is like slitting your wrist as the only thing you can do is die afterwords


3#His inabilty to die easily
His complete rejection of the concept of Mortality is pretty Damn cool

Dr who season 6 review Part 2

Hey folk and happy new year. I am in the process of a best o 2011(I know but what do you expect by now) but this post was in the can until the Xmas special came out to confirm my theory. This theory is that the second part of season six and in essence all of Matt Smiths run has been pure garbage due to the weird writing choices of Moffet. His take on the Doctor is that he is less capable then we were lead to believe and most if not all issues can be solved by the power of human emotion and love. The second part of the season picks up a bit after the end of the first one with the reveal that Amy and Rory,s baby was in fact River Song who due to the shitty story arc was kidnapped by the people(you never find out who these people are BTW) and ostensibly trained to fight the Doctor. She was given Timelord DNA by being conceived in the time vortex how and given the ability to regenerate for some reason. They pick up by introducing Mel the childhood friend of Amy and Rory who was interesting in that she was not Rory or Amy or River. This was quickly dashed as she was shown to be(very fast I might add) River Songs prior incarnation and in there lies the main problem I have with the new series. The issue is no aspect of this show was not touched by the three companions in most cases the solution was the bond they shared...WTF!. From when she gave all her regenerations to save him onwards It was a hunk of pure Bullshit the whole second half thru to the Best(Amy/Rory free i might add) episode "closing time". Even in this episode it was the bond that Craig had for his baby that saved the day and 0% anything the doctor actually did himself. The season finale was a clusterfuck of ideas and images that were never explained and seen again(such as who is doing this and why exactly. This lone episode seemed to anger and frustrate me rather then delight and entertain me which I sadly assumed was the purpose. I by the ending credits could care less if the show came back on ever again which is in stark contrast to my feverish desire for all things Whovian in years past. I honestly could not care less if the show came back on ever again that's how bad this was to me. This second half made the first half and the full 5th season god awful in retrospect which is admirable in the scope of such a achievement to be honest. This leads us to the X-Mas special which was not half bad(again it was Amy-Rory/riverless). This episode saw the return of RTD level sap and emotional terrorism and the continuing the fangless doctor who needs the emotional bond of humans to save the day. I still found it to be better by light years then the last two years. In conclusion I am dumbfounded at how a show I was fanatical about could get so bad so fast butit did and I for one will not be eager to see how bad it get.

Review of new years

Hello folks I saw this Movie with 0 expectations and recived a warm place to sit for 2 hours as a result.

This was not the worst thing ever to say right off the bat. I mean it was never really funny and the people in it seemed to be connected in the most superfacially deep ways so there was that. This like garry marshalls other big star circle jerk Valentines day was a circle jerk of major stars being affable. It was not bad in the most basic way I mean it was on the roles were acted out and then it ended nothing out of place. The thing is nothing was good either I mean it was a comedy yet I never laughed not once. I was not expecting anything and recived just that which is rare in this world. The only story that I liked of the several incuding ashton Kutcher as a hipster(he wore pjs and hated holidays what?) and leah michelle stuck in a elevator. Also there was the bon jovi and kathrine Heigl making faces as Sophia vegera shows her famous chest and does the hispanic version of cooning. I enjoyed the michelle phifer(looking and acting like the way she was before she got tossed of a roof and became catwoman) and zac efron as a douche. This was ok as it showed NYC in a really good way. In conclusion this thing happened and it exist so accept it and move on.

Review of harold and Kumar 3-d

Hey folks whats good in your hood? Its christmas time and unlike years past I am doing the holidays up aka shopping and seeing the sights. In one such excursion I saw Harold and Kumars 3D xmas and was pleasently suprised.

As you know or don,t know this is the 3rd in the stoner trilogy in which harold(john cho) and Kumar(former white house staff Kal Penn) and it is in full 3d. When I say full 3d I mean full 3d not a cheap add on like they like to do these days. I knew going in that they said that they went for the gusto on 3d but that was a understatement at no point during this movie I felt like taking my glasses off. I also think that while it made sense where they placed the 3d like it fit with the gag(a bag of coke being exploded and it snowing coke as a white xmas plays for example.) I would say see this in the theatre if you can catch it if only to see 3D done right and have a point of refrence going foward

As far as the story is concerned it involves the pair after a few years of not speaking and harold living in the suburbs in a big house and married and kumar in a shitty apartment doing/living the same way reconnecting to get a tree to replace the burned up one(long story). I think they more or less ran out of ideas for hijinks as this seems pretty low stakes figuring they got locked up in terroist jail last time. It felt like every situation could of been easily avoided which lead to frustration on my part and alot of inner monolouge of "if they did that they wouldnt have a movie" which is never good. I laughed quite a bit despite that fact and Neil Patrick Harris killed it as the drug adddled sexulal predator he plays pitch perfect every time. When his real life partner tempts him with a "big ole bag of crack" I was sold on the whole film despite the lazy hijinks. I would say see it in the cinema for the 3d but see it no matter what as it has enough laughs to hold up a view.

My review Of Dr Who Season 6 (part 1)

Hey folks I been writing this review since the abomination that was seaon 6 ended and while I wanted to wait on the judgement till the end I am unable to write this without having actual bile come up as I think on this season and what I can only imagine was a great idea(returning to the serial nature of the show) took a sinsiter life of its own and presented itself as this pile of trash.



This season was set up to payoff on last seasons "silience will fall" story and was treated to the best(its no awful after the payoff) season premire which I saw 2 weeks early at a BBCA event in the city. I was so fired up after seeing the dr killed and then swept into what was a season long mystery of how did this occur and how would he get out of it.A new villian was introduced(the now awful silence or whatever they are)This was puncuated by a cliffhanger of a little girl regenerating in the last scene. As you can imagine I was jacked up on finding out who this timelord was(answer was awful) and how it all tied together(it did not in anyway).that This was followed by the first half of the split season which consisted of them trying to make this the Amy pond and Rory show with the dr tagging along looking lost and powerless to stop anything. It seemed that they wanted us to see the dr as a irresponsible force of nature who thru the years created a myth that followed him around. This was done by alot of "the dr does etc" but no dr actully doing things. every episode in the first set were bad with the exception of the Dr wife. This was FANTASTIC a episode as I have ever seen when the tardis is given a voice which lead to alot of touching and funny moments which made me realize how hollow the rest of the season was. I figure it was then when The mid season finale was them relizing that Amy was a flesh avatar which tied into the silence subplot which was at the tiime still kind of interesting but not really. This is when I realized that this was not going to end well at all and had no hope for the future and even with that I was still dissappointed. I can,t do the full season right now I just cannot do it. The sheer amount of disgust I have is amazing even for me so I broke it up like they did.

My review Of Drive

Hety folks IT HAS BEEN AGES since my last review and for that I am sorry but Life finds a way to derail the most oiled of machines AMIRITE? Any way the movie I am going to start with the most recent flick I saw which is the criticlly aclaimed drive. First off I wanted to see this film based of the ad campaign which was just posters with the stars which was a big draw based odd mix of people in it. From Bryan Cranston from Breaking bad and Christina Hendricks from Mad Men all in the posters and piqueing my interest due to my love of the two shows. Getting into the film it was very sparse To be more clear the movie seemed to feel like a GTA game in which the hero was also a villian with no real backstory who is thrust into a bigger world in which he becomes embroiled in a turn of events that ramp up until the very end. I love GTA in regards of the way they they tell stories so in that way I was happy as far as the performances I was also happy. Ryan gosling was very stingy with words and emotions for the most part but when He would emote or speak it made sense and carried more weight. I also liked Albert brooks as the movie producer turned jewish mobster who finds himself more hands on with the violence then he would like and makes for what should be a cut and dried villian have my sympathy and understanding. The violence was extreme from arms being opened up with straight razors to shotgun blasts the the side of the head it was not for the tame. Every punch and gunshot and stab felt very viscaral as well like whoever did the foley work should get a award. Lastly the music was very good(i have hipster sensibilities) and seemed to feel at home in the sparse dialouge and driving scenes which were top notch. All and all I give this a shining endorsement with the caveat that it is violent and is slowly paced so buyer beware.