Game of thrones season 3 episode 1

WOOOOOOOOO! we are back in westoros and it feels so good. We are back for the the now super popular shows 3rd season premier. Who knew when I was staying at my moms house and in that dark room watching what was a unknown sword and shield series would be appointment Tv for non nerds. Any way lets get right down to it. This episode is pretty much a resetting of players and with that not much happened. This was fine as months away I felt rusty with the players and the game as I did not rewatch season 2 to get ready for season 3. I felt let me go in fresh and I am glad I did as if I didn't this episode would of moved to slow for me. The main issues such as the aftermath of the battle and the obvious winners(tyrion Lannister,Lady Tyrell) and losers(Tywin) and the continuing struggles of the dragon lady in far away lands were addressed nicely and timely. I also found the white walker story progressing well figuring how massive a tone shift it is from the rest of the other stories. i also liked how things moved along at a leisurly clip even though nothing really happened which is a huge accomplishment as this episode could of been really dull. I am a huge fan of Lady Tyrell as she is smoking hot(I have a thing for women who can maneuver treacherous situations deftly) I also like Cersei as her power fades due to the new woman in Joffereys life. Rounding up the episode was Tyrions being told in no uncertain terms his place in the Lannisters and Sansa making more stupid mistakes. I am gunning for next week when Bran and Tonks come back as well as Arya. I hope they continue the quality as there are to few shows that strive for and reach excellence. As always comment or email me with gripes or Ideas. Also programming Note I will be doing a late review of Dredd as the lovely Lena Headley is in that and I think It deserves some more great ink.

Dr Who Review(Bells Of St Johns)

Hello folks.(insert year absence explanation here). I will be doing reviews for this season of Dr Who more so I can have some proof to why I now hate this show and why after this season I will more then likely tap out. I as from my past writings will tell you describe myself as a old time fan I am 20+ years with this show. The thing is no matter what changed the underlying framework of the show was there which is the Dr would defeat enemies with a companion who was there to act as our surrogate. Simple right? Will starting with the reboot they tweaked it a bit gave the companion some more importance to which ranged from "Ok thats fine" to "WTF" but it never got to crazy. The new show runner however seems to think that I watch a show called Dr who for the comapanions as thats what the last 3 years have been with the Dr as a side kick. I hate this as well as the whimsy and the threadbare stories with zero bite. That Brings me to the season premire which was alot of "lol he is a monk" and "lol he is on a bike" and "lol he has a fez on" lots of whimsy and all the crap us 20 year fans love like leaf licking and spunky modern girls with secrets(who is she?) I know my question to that and answer is who cares and not I. It starts with some horseshit premise that the world wide web is a actual web(scary) and people who can hack people with Ipads(spooky) and the best part is we never get a resolution which is what I love in a show that has proven it cannot pay off anything ever(see the ruined river song and amy and anything that has happened since matt smith started)/ he gets a call on the tardis and its the the the new companion and he helps her with getting on wifi(lol so funny) This leads to a bullshit mystery of who gave her the number and....zzzzzzz. Then he meets her she is spunky and he is obsessed for some reason which also seemed weird as for a 1000 years he was cool and offered trips to people he thought would be cool to travel with now he only takes people with secrets and becomes obsessed with them. They bullshit around for 30-40 min and she now has computer skills from being in a cloud server(yeah) the show ends with no real resolution and the credits roll. If it wasnt for Orphan Black(that shit was awful) I would of said that was the worst thing I saw all year. I will watch and review every week and whenever someone calls me a hater or says its not that bad read this blog and see in print how it is that bad.

Game of Thrones episode 1(the north remembers) review

Hey yall its that time of year again the topic in which 80% of my traffic comes to read on and as you know that is my reviews of game of thrones. I am going to do a weekly review of each episode and a mid season review so with that out of the way lets begin.

I will start how last season ended with danyeris nude covered in dragons which was just a prelude to aimless desert wandering and starvation and not the coming of a new empire as was previously thought. She and her band of sun burnt former slaves and the guy who looks like the guy who stole wives in 80,s dramas are in a pretty bad way when we catch up with them. They really did not jump into much other then she is eyeing some dude and dragons get carried in wicker basket cages. I hope to
see more in the coming season of this story as it was my favorite one last season.

This douche... Seriously though I found myself at the end of last season hating Joffery and that has not changed but I have to say his out right abuse of everyone has given me joy where there was no joy before. I mean damn son he slaps his moms and his chick and has tounges cut out as well as attempting to drown a man in wine. The kicker for me was after finding out his birth was of ill repute and that other actual kids of the king exist had babies stabbed and flayed and kids drowned which made me actually lol at extreme response. If thsi continues I may have to hate him less.

the rest of the episode was sort of connected in regards to the war that wages between the north and the south and the players involved in trying to become king of westeros. In the north Robb gains awesome points by menencing Prince charming for the shrek movies(jaime lannister) with his giant dire wolf and by boasting(methinks to much) about his 3 victories. In the south we have the old kings brother Stannis consorting with a religious faction in regards to becoming the new king and he ends up sending a letter to the whole world outing cersei and her incest based kids in turn making neds death meaningless. In the far north our favorite mopey bastard is looking for clues with the rest of the watch and are now stsying on a compound with a dude and his 15 or so daughter wives(yeah daughter wives). all and all it was a good episode it built on all the anticapation and got things started in a way that gives my expectations a realistic outlook(cough dr who cough). By not going BIG in the premire it gives the series a chance to grow into what this season is supposed to be instead of what we assume it should be based in hype. I hope you enjoyed this weeks review feel free to comment of email me at dannycrudup@rocketmail.com.

Review of Underworld Awakening

Hey look at me updating on time and shit. How is life on the other side of the monitor Today we dig into the 4th(thats right the 4th) installment of the Underworld Franchise where we are told things have changed so dont exeoct the same old same old. well after watching I can say it was the same old same old but with a longer build up to get to it. I saw this on a "extended Lunch Break" and was going in with Low expections figuring this was a fourth installment of a so so francise. Apprantly the humans find out about vampires and werewolves(how they do not say) and proceed to commit genocide in the first 5 min of the movie. I can say it wasnt terrible right off the bat as I sort of knew what I was getting into which was not much. The premise of the last 3 movies was explained the war between vampire and werewolf blah blah blah. Long story short the werewolves are the bad guys again and two hours and several decent action scenes and a selena Gomez look alike getting smacked around a bit and it was over. Should you see this? well chances are you already have if you should and havent if you shouldnt.

Top Three Moments in the Die Hard Series

Hey folks (insert apology for delay here). I have been meaning to do another Top three moments as they seem to be pretty popular but I had no idea what to write on. I knew it had to be about a 80s/90s action movie but which one? I settled on Die Hard as I after several months of heavy drinking topped off with a two day bender that had me wondering if I would die i watched all four. This marathon gave me keen insight into the choices made from one film to the other and what Moments made the most sense to include in this list.The story of Die Hard is the story of the wrong place at the wrong time fly in the very meticulusly planned ointment. I hope these do the great John Mcclane proud.

1#Die hard 1 dramatic build up to Carl Winslow Ghosting a Dude
It starts with Hans gruber systematicly breaking into a building to steal some bonds with a Motley crew of mercs who all have a role in the most involved(until part 2 and then again in part 3) olan of all time so involved he needed a nerdy black guy who made bad jokes(more on this guy next month. he was baited into thinking he was invincible and his men slowly killed. This leads to him getting hs come uppence and uncerimoniously tossed out a window. This leads to John Mclane Meeting up with his eyes outside The loveable Carl Winslow who was on his way home from procurring donuts and got the call to investigate claims of monkey shines at the building in question. As the two friends embrace a thug mclane shot and hung brandishes a gun and Carl Winslow digs deep and Mercs this dude with Ruthless efficiency he would later use on the sitcom Family Matters.


2#No one from Die hard 2 and on not getting the Memo not to Fuck With John Mclane
Like really why would anyone not read a Goddamn paper and realize its not worth it? He for all intents and purposes is a cop but he never arrests anyone or investigates anything really and the little deduduction he has seems tempered by booze and regret. What he was however was a Killer who never had to answer for anyting and seemed to be able to kill with no regard to due process. In two he killed trained black OPs mercs and James from Good times by kicking him into a Jet. Then In 3 he goes up against Hans grubers brother who its looks understands what the fuck Mclane was about but nope he to thought his God damn army could stop the walking personifaction of death that is John Mclane...WRONG!. By the fourth move Tim Olyphant should of mission abort the second he heard John Mcl... let alone his full name and take his kid hostage?!?!? are you kidding me? That is like slitting your wrist as the only thing you can do is die afterwords


3#His inabilty to die easily
His complete rejection of the concept of Mortality is pretty Damn cool

Dr who season 6 review Part 2

Hey folk and happy new year. I am in the process of a best o 2011(I know but what do you expect by now) but this post was in the can until the Xmas special came out to confirm my theory. This theory is that the second part of season six and in essence all of Matt Smiths run has been pure garbage due to the weird writing choices of Moffet. His take on the Doctor is that he is less capable then we were lead to believe and most if not all issues can be solved by the power of human emotion and love. The second part of the season picks up a bit after the end of the first one with the reveal that Amy and Rory,s baby was in fact River Song who due to the shitty story arc was kidnapped by the people(you never find out who these people are BTW) and ostensibly trained to fight the Doctor. She was given Timelord DNA by being conceived in the time vortex how and given the ability to regenerate for some reason. They pick up by introducing Mel the childhood friend of Amy and Rory who was interesting in that she was not Rory or Amy or River. This was quickly dashed as she was shown to be(very fast I might add) River Songs prior incarnation and in there lies the main problem I have with the new series. The issue is no aspect of this show was not touched by the three companions in most cases the solution was the bond they shared...WTF!. From when she gave all her regenerations to save him onwards It was a hunk of pure Bullshit the whole second half thru to the Best(Amy/Rory free i might add) episode "closing time". Even in this episode it was the bond that Craig had for his baby that saved the day and 0% anything the doctor actually did himself. The season finale was a clusterfuck of ideas and images that were never explained and seen again(such as who is doing this and why exactly. This lone episode seemed to anger and frustrate me rather then delight and entertain me which I sadly assumed was the purpose. I by the ending credits could care less if the show came back on ever again which is in stark contrast to my feverish desire for all things Whovian in years past. I honestly could not care less if the show came back on ever again that's how bad this was to me. This second half made the first half and the full 5th season god awful in retrospect which is admirable in the scope of such a achievement to be honest. This leads us to the X-Mas special which was not half bad(again it was Amy-Rory/riverless). This episode saw the return of RTD level sap and emotional terrorism and the continuing the fangless doctor who needs the emotional bond of humans to save the day. I still found it to be better by light years then the last two years. In conclusion I am dumbfounded at how a show I was fanatical about could get so bad so fast butit did and I for one will not be eager to see how bad it get.

Review of new years

Hello folks I saw this Movie with 0 expectations and recived a warm place to sit for 2 hours as a result.

This was not the worst thing ever to say right off the bat. I mean it was never really funny and the people in it seemed to be connected in the most superfacially deep ways so there was that. This like garry marshalls other big star circle jerk Valentines day was a circle jerk of major stars being affable. It was not bad in the most basic way I mean it was on the roles were acted out and then it ended nothing out of place. The thing is nothing was good either I mean it was a comedy yet I never laughed not once. I was not expecting anything and recived just that which is rare in this world. The only story that I liked of the several incuding ashton Kutcher as a hipster(he wore pjs and hated holidays what?) and leah michelle stuck in a elevator. Also there was the bon jovi and kathrine Heigl making faces as Sophia vegera shows her famous chest and does the hispanic version of cooning. I enjoyed the michelle phifer(looking and acting like the way she was before she got tossed of a roof and became catwoman) and zac efron as a douche. This was ok as it showed NYC in a really good way. In conclusion this thing happened and it exist so accept it and move on.

Review of harold and Kumar 3-d

Hey folks whats good in your hood? Its christmas time and unlike years past I am doing the holidays up aka shopping and seeing the sights. In one such excursion I saw Harold and Kumars 3D xmas and was pleasently suprised.

As you know or don,t know this is the 3rd in the stoner trilogy in which harold(john cho) and Kumar(former white house staff Kal Penn) and it is in full 3d. When I say full 3d I mean full 3d not a cheap add on like they like to do these days. I knew going in that they said that they went for the gusto on 3d but that was a understatement at no point during this movie I felt like taking my glasses off. I also think that while it made sense where they placed the 3d like it fit with the gag(a bag of coke being exploded and it snowing coke as a white xmas plays for example.) I would say see this in the theatre if you can catch it if only to see 3D done right and have a point of refrence going foward

As far as the story is concerned it involves the pair after a few years of not speaking and harold living in the suburbs in a big house and married and kumar in a shitty apartment doing/living the same way reconnecting to get a tree to replace the burned up one(long story). I think they more or less ran out of ideas for hijinks as this seems pretty low stakes figuring they got locked up in terroist jail last time. It felt like every situation could of been easily avoided which lead to frustration on my part and alot of inner monolouge of "if they did that they wouldnt have a movie" which is never good. I laughed quite a bit despite that fact and Neil Patrick Harris killed it as the drug adddled sexulal predator he plays pitch perfect every time. When his real life partner tempts him with a "big ole bag of crack" I was sold on the whole film despite the lazy hijinks. I would say see it in the cinema for the 3d but see it no matter what as it has enough laughs to hold up a view.

My review Of Dr Who Season 6 (part 1)

Hey folks I been writing this review since the abomination that was seaon 6 ended and while I wanted to wait on the judgement till the end I am unable to write this without having actual bile come up as I think on this season and what I can only imagine was a great idea(returning to the serial nature of the show) took a sinsiter life of its own and presented itself as this pile of trash.



This season was set up to payoff on last seasons "silience will fall" story and was treated to the best(its no awful after the payoff) season premire which I saw 2 weeks early at a BBCA event in the city. I was so fired up after seeing the dr killed and then swept into what was a season long mystery of how did this occur and how would he get out of it.A new villian was introduced(the now awful silence or whatever they are)This was puncuated by a cliffhanger of a little girl regenerating in the last scene. As you can imagine I was jacked up on finding out who this timelord was(answer was awful) and how it all tied together(it did not in anyway).that This was followed by the first half of the split season which consisted of them trying to make this the Amy pond and Rory show with the dr tagging along looking lost and powerless to stop anything. It seemed that they wanted us to see the dr as a irresponsible force of nature who thru the years created a myth that followed him around. This was done by alot of "the dr does etc" but no dr actully doing things. every episode in the first set were bad with the exception of the Dr wife. This was FANTASTIC a episode as I have ever seen when the tardis is given a voice which lead to alot of touching and funny moments which made me realize how hollow the rest of the season was. I figure it was then when The mid season finale was them relizing that Amy was a flesh avatar which tied into the silence subplot which was at the tiime still kind of interesting but not really. This is when I realized that this was not going to end well at all and had no hope for the future and even with that I was still dissappointed. I can,t do the full season right now I just cannot do it. The sheer amount of disgust I have is amazing even for me so I broke it up like they did.

My review Of Drive

Hety folks IT HAS BEEN AGES since my last review and for that I am sorry but Life finds a way to derail the most oiled of machines AMIRITE? Any way the movie I am going to start with the most recent flick I saw which is the criticlly aclaimed drive. First off I wanted to see this film based of the ad campaign which was just posters with the stars which was a big draw based odd mix of people in it. From Bryan Cranston from Breaking bad and Christina Hendricks from Mad Men all in the posters and piqueing my interest due to my love of the two shows. Getting into the film it was very sparse To be more clear the movie seemed to feel like a GTA game in which the hero was also a villian with no real backstory who is thrust into a bigger world in which he becomes embroiled in a turn of events that ramp up until the very end. I love GTA in regards of the way they they tell stories so in that way I was happy as far as the performances I was also happy. Ryan gosling was very stingy with words and emotions for the most part but when He would emote or speak it made sense and carried more weight. I also liked Albert brooks as the movie producer turned jewish mobster who finds himself more hands on with the violence then he would like and makes for what should be a cut and dried villian have my sympathy and understanding. The violence was extreme from arms being opened up with straight razors to shotgun blasts the the side of the head it was not for the tame. Every punch and gunshot and stab felt very viscaral as well like whoever did the foley work should get a award. Lastly the music was very good(i have hipster sensibilities) and seemed to feel at home in the sparse dialouge and driving scenes which were top notch. All and all I give this a shining endorsement with the caveat that it is violent and is slowly paced so buyer beware.

Torchwood season 4 (Miracle day) Review

Hey the Season finale of Torchwoods 4th season came and went last week so here is my review of what started slow and lagged and ended ok enough. I will start by saying they turned the Captain Jack gay knob all the WAY up with 2 sex scenes one gratuitous(dude he picks up in a bar) the other very plot specific(guy who ends up having him mutilated). The story was something happens where people are unable to die which means that the system becomes taxed due to no one dying but people still being born. I do not want to get into the meat of this as its pretty dense and goes to some weird places. Long story short torchwood figures out through dragging shit out that Jacks immortal blood poured into holes in the earth which set the lifespan at forever. This was played out over 10 pretty dragged out episodes which ended pretty ok. My main issue with the end which is my issue with Dr Who is that the main plot devices(regeneration and jacks immortality) are being treated very blase and that is bothering me. Some devices should be protected and left alone as they are the linchpin of the whole series. I mean what does treating his immorality as something that can be passed around like a cheap flask of booze? The new people that were added to the team sucked especially the one dude who survived and is now immortal(see last sentence) he was insufferable. The benefits to the season was the fact that despite being on stars in the USA they saved some of the dour welsh aesthetic that Torchwood is known for. I also liked despite feeling like the story dragged in the middle the wrapped things up pretty swiftly and not many lose ends to feel cheated with. I hear they are going to do a season 5 which I am kind of hopeful figuring that they have a year of working with Starz and in the Usa giving them a good oppertunity to build on this years success.

My Review of Final Destination 5

Hello folks its that time again for people to get killed in mouse trap the board game or another impossibly old reference Pee Wee,s breakfast machine style deaths. First off I am a fan of over the top violence and gruesome scenes bit this does not make me a horror movie guy as they rely on thrills and suspense which are two things that make a already jumpy person jumpy. I had no real plan on reviewing this but the way this movie ended made(expect spoilers) not reviewing it not a option. First as with all of the final destination films there is a accident that is avoided which starts the proverbial ball rolling which was pretty cool as it happened pretty fast in the movie. They proceed to be impaled,burned,maimed and brutalized all while courtney Vance for some reason tries to get to the bottom of the obvious accidents. This is all par for the course the reason this movie made me stand up and notice is that they foreshadowed the twist in such a way that I noticed it but didnt put it together until the last second. The entire movie the fat third sklar brother who was a lothario used a ancient cell to call his ladies. I assumed this was a choice to show him as a out of touch loser who used a Star-Tac flip phone but thinks he is cool. Later on however I noticed other people using these old ass phones to which I thought "This is odd but ok fair enough" this continued until the final(ish) scene in which the guy who was supposedly safe and his girlfriend board a plane to France a fight breaks out and then it hit me "Oh Shit its the first(ish) scene from Final Destination 1" this snake eating its own tail sequel/Prequel concept was treat and not expected at all. This made a otherwise blah horror movie turn into a decent flick that had a awesome suprise at the end.

RoboCop best 3 moments

Hey folks back with a best 3 moments which was a huge hit with you guys with my total recall post. I was going to go all Arnie but decided against it as This can become a all Arnie blog if I do not show a modicum of restraint. I will however go into one of my all time favorites in Robocop the film that showed the future as a 80,s shithole with alot more commercialism. I like to think we didn't turn out that bad as the movie said we would as artificial hearts were sold on tv like fast food. Anyway I am only addressing Part one even though part 2 was awesome if I include it i have to include part 3 which was just sad.

1.ED 209
This was the great Dick Jones idea to deal with the securing Detroit problem as the police and to a large extent the city itself belonged to a corporation called OCP and they were about to bulldoze the shitty part to gentrify it and they needed something to show they had things under control. This was Dick Jones(played by Ronnie Cox the same guy who played the villain in Total Recall) idea which in hindsight or any sight really was a stupid idea to think a tank would be able to be a police man let alone the fact that this same tank is prone to unsolicited violence as it shot a executive(Tort reform in the future allows this) to death. I think ED 209 rules as the crux of the robocop story is that the guy who created robocop stepped on Dicks toes with his idea positing that if he didn't the ED 209 project was viable which is so stupid its brillant

Alex Murphy becoming robocop
This as a 9 year old was traumatic in that for a good bit of the scene it seemed like he was more or less a side of beef getting shot repeatedly. This makes it to best moment as the fact that getting rounds of ammo dumped into you doesn't kill you asap it allows you the ability to have weird ass flashbacks of your future home and wife and kid. This process from good cop to meat to robocop is played out from him getting killed by red from that 70,s show and then his semi lucid remmeberings of a team working on him in a weird lab montage that is replayed in all 3 movies for some reason. This is my favorite for no other reason then that this was marketed to kids and had one of the most gruesome scenes of mutilation I have ever seen before or since


Buy that for a dollar guy
The best thing about this movie and the future as far as I was concerned was finally getting the context to what this man was trying to buy for a dollar. I mean on its own as a non sequistor its amazing. it frames the lawlessness that is taking place in the streets perfectly. As the main villains use the newly acquired Cobra gun which amuses the black member of the gang greatly the phrase "I would buy that for a dollar" is played. I know pie is involved in some way and cheap 80,s style bimbos are in play as well but no real context other then the tight shot of his mustached face and the line that made life worth living..

Review of captain america

rating-OK
Hey folks I have been MIA as this summer was very busy with changes a plenty but I promise Fall 2011 and going forward I will be on a 2 a week post regime of all your favorite movie and TV review and opinions and Memes. Anyway here is the long awaited review of Captain America the first avenger. The short answer it was OK but in the good way like how Thor was OK in the bland way. It had everything you would expect from a marvel movie the little inside bits for fans the huge feel and bright color that appeals to the casual fan. The heart was there as well as when a character dies you feel the loss and when the romantic lead(played by one of my favorites Haley Atwell) knows he is pretty much going to die the scene tugs at the heartstrings. As far as action it was in there but he was overpowered in terms of the opposition. meaning he was flicking people at one point all done effortlessly which was hollow. This is added that the main villain played by Hugo weaving who was his only real match they're final(and really only) show down was very short and didn't feel like it was back and forth. I would of had them fight once before with the Red skull besting him giving the last fight a he figured it out feeling that would explain how he beat him so fast.


the Period feel was good and the villains as frail as they were looked good in a Cobra viper way. I also enjoyed the musical number way more then I should as it reminded me of old bugs bunny war effort propaganda cartoons that I loved. The acting was fine and the fear that the overall movie was a long expensive set up for the Avenger movie which is really wasn,t. As far as the avenger trailer. it was pretty bad ass and everything you could expect. Its showed the main villain presumably(Emo Loki from bland Thor) and showed all the principles(hulk was missing for some reason)and showed some action but no real info was given. I am looking forward to that film as it when I heard about it WAY back in 08 after Iron Man It seemed along way away. In conclusion I loved the movies choices and think it was a enjoyable 2 hours while it could of done some stuff better I cannot really complain

Review of Transformers 3

Rating-great

Sorry I am so late on this post but I tried to do a week to week review of Torchwood but my hate of the new main character lead to my ranting for paragraphs and I couldn't stop. OK on to the review at hand and OMFG this movie ruled(to me)I say (to me) because I have a very specific taste quadrant and this movie hit all of them. I am a lover of wanton tasteless excessive violence and terror being hoisted on everyone in the movie in such a way that it becomes comical. This film is great to me but I can easily see how someone would say it was good awful as it was loud and disjointed and ended abruptly on top of all the violence which was excessive so if that's not your thing you will want to bail on this. If your are into one second watching a humorous exchange between the main character and his parents and not even 6 minutes later watch city blown to hell with screaming people being shot in the back as they flee this is the film for you. I am going to to list the top two things to me(if you don,t already know what is number 1) hope you enjoy it. P.S captain America will be seen and reviewed by next Tuesday.





1.Violence Violence and more violence and a side of malicious terror being inflicted on everyone.

WOW if it wasn't the fact that a city was attacked and millions of people were killed or maimed or was it the transformers themselves whose heads and spines and eyes were mutilated at every turn. I mean I don,t know where to start here as there was so much to chose from movie wide. If for some reason you didn't buy the transformer on transformer violence(i don't know about that figuring how they screamed and plead for there lives all movie long) there was TONS of people being maimed on and off screen. The best(or worse) display of this was when the decipticons were sacking a major city they were chasing and shooting people as they fled and one was a woman who while screaming was blasted and her skull popped out. That scene was the one which told me "oh they ain't fucking around huh?" it was as gratuitous a movie as everything was killed or in some cases menaced with violence all movie long. By menace I mean there was 4+ scenes were people and transformers were threatened with being shot in the back of the head and in some cases they were. I can go on and on about this but how do I choose between one guy falling from the sky on fire or another having his spine torn out? Answer is you don,t





2-Hipster megatron
This was so awesome to me to be honest. The fact that megatron spent 2 hours tooling about as a mad max truck rocking a hipster urban outfitter scarf is AMAZING. That would be cool if that was that but he also during most of the violence(see number 1) he was hanging loose in a alley being detached and ironic with his scarf flowing in the breeze. I like to think he had some fleet foxes and iron and wine on his ipod while blogging how over cyberwilliamsburg has become due to Lamestreamers.

Law and Order how much do I love thee let me count the ways.

Oh how much do I love any show that has the title Law and Order? That is a trick question as I love this show beyond any words that presently exist so this blog in essence is a fools errand. I will try however to express how much I enjoy each show from the stalwart original all the way to the vapid LA version I shall try to explain why I am obsessed and why you should be as well.



LAW AND ORDER
This one is to me the best of the best and I am well aware I am in the minority here. I feel that this show does what I like best which is tell a story and let the characters flesh out through they're responses to external stimuli. Meaning there was no real time dedicated to they're personal lives and the only things we knew was what was said over the course of organic conversations. I dislike too much character reliance as if I for whatever the reason dislike the person the show suffers. Here over years you learn about motivations and family entanglements loves gained and loss through the very real reaction to the cases they tried to solve. I also loved that they lost quite a bit which made the stakes real as you never knew from one week to the next if they would win or if in some cases they even had the right guy. I think this show above all the others showed that you didn't have to do anything more then tell a great story and let the people integrate into the story as opposed to having the story integrate into the characters to be successful. This is my favorite but most people enjoy..

LAW AND ORDER SVU
This is great but for none of the reasons that a drama should. It is so damn silly in the way that the cops do they,re job episode after episode. The two main characters go between mad zealousness to obvious disinterest depending on the "Vic". If its a Caucasian teen girl Elliot stabler will fly to another country to not follow any of the rules of procedure and/or go after someone who is innocent based on the flimsiest of evidence. If its a woman or any girl really Olivia Benson will badger and badger and "help" them into a tub of warm water with slit wrist(this has happened more then 4 times). Also if it is a black victim or a junkie Ice T will step in and get 0 help from the normally rabid leads also he is always given a Jet beauty of the week love interest that happens "organically and not at all forced. I enjoy the insane leaps they make and the fact that they should all be fired for one thing or the other since season 2. This one is the most popular one and as of nest year will be the last one left which is sad despite my love of the series. This is mostly based on the fact that a silly goofy dessert is hollow without a solid and excellent dinner.


LAW AND ORDER CRIMINAL INTENT
Staying on the dinner analogy a bit longer if SVU is the dessert to the first ones dinner then this is the lunch. I say this because its just as silly at times(sometimes more so) then SVU but at its core its a old fashioned procedural with Colombo style gamesmanship. When this show started the hook was the idea that we saw the show from both the cops point of view and the killers but everything else stayed the same law and equal parts order and the cat and mouse game that came from this. I think when Vincent D,Onfrio decided he would play Det Goren like batman that idea went out the window. The fact that he plays the guy like Colombo and Sherlock Holmes makes the order part a bit more messy as he is the entrapment kid every week. In the first seasons they had a d.a played by Courtney Vance who sole purpose was to say "nice theory but i need some proof" and despite Goren being right 100% of the time he had to treat him as a crazy wild card every case. Somewhere between the beginning and the end they shelved the idea and the show closed with the arrest which at first bothered me. This being I know that the arrest is the beginning and could very well mean nothing but This show felt more like macmillian and wife era crime show which that was the norm so I was ok with it. I like this one second due to the competence of the detectives and the stories that were interesting and involved.

LAW AND ORDER LOS ANGLES
And finally we come to this(apologies to law and order trial by jury but I hold you responsible for the great Jerry orbachs death from a sickness you did not cause please understand. Anyway this show started and tried its hardest to be sleek and L.A and in most cases it achieved this by telling OK stories with a L.A feel. The cast was OK but no one watched this thing and instead of letting the ax fall they retooled it in such a strange way I scratched my head from the relaunch all the asy to the second cancellation. They decided that the reason no one watched the show was both female D.A,s and one of the detectives. they put one of the main Lawyers(Alfred Molina) to capitalize on the name no doubt as a detective which would be fine if he wasnt like 60 years old. secondly they brought the assistant from NYC Alana de Garza to I assume court Hispanics but without Jack and cutter for her to play off she was inert. Terrence Howard as the DA was OK if it wasn't for his playing it like a guy who was more interested in being promoted. all and all I think this show could of fixed things in season 2 if it had the chance but it didn't so it wont.

Game of Thrones Full Season review

Hey folks sorry for the delay on this post but to quote badboys 2 "shit just got real" on the real life front. Any way the sleeper hit of the year 2011 concluded a few weeks ago and it ended in the same way it started with violence and nudity but with the added benifit of dragons. I started the show two weeks in via on demand and was blown away right away. I belive this is is due to the fact that they give you pretty much everything you need from the first scene to the last scene of episode 1. By creating a world that was instantly intrigiung and dense instead of spoon feeding you at a slow pace. The season as I have said before moved at the right speed not to rushed and not to delibrite just right. I am a huge fan of how each week you felt the right amount of trepadation for the next week and the desire to reflex on what you just saw. I think by the time the season was in full swing and conflicts were being aired out in the open and chracters where killed despite major movers and shakers. I am fired up for next season to see how the threads left open at the end of the season and see if they can pick up and continue the huge momentem that the first season produced.

Review of Green Lantern

rating-meh/decent

Hello all This the much anticipated(by me)movie adaptation of my favorite super hero the Green Lantern. This movie was something I looked forward to this movie despite the fact Ryan Reynolds was in it as he is being forced down our throats as a action hero despite not being good at it. I am going into this as a SUPER fan but I am going to try to review this as impartially as I can.



I will start by saying this is better then Thor as it was compelling but less then X men First class because it wasn't all that good. My initial fear would be that they would ignore the outer space elements to make a movie that appealed to a broader audience which happily did not happen. The main issue was they felt by putting two people who are popular and attractive as the leads(Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively) they could get away with slow paced short movie with no action in it. The plot follows the story of how The green lantern goes from immature fly boy to responsible super hero in about one hour and forty five minutes. The action scenes consist of 5-6 loose scenes in which they are over as soon as they start. The main villain a yellow cloud which is defeated pretty quickly. I liked the idea of the intergalactic police force which they did alot to set up which I appreciated as a fan of the comic but I they seemed to be more perfunctory then needed in the grand scheme of things. As any fan of the comic knows Sinestro played by Mark Strong is going to be a villain. This set up process is done by adding tons of ideas which have 0 to do with the story at hand for a sequel I can GUARANTEE will not be made. Another thing to go back to my pre sequel idea they seemed to be sett All in all it was OK I was expecting a turd of ang lee "hulk" proportions and instead got this underwhelming star vehicle disguised as a action movie. I am calling it now as I belive the captian America movie will be the winner of the summer of comic movies as its not coming out in may(thor) and they do not have faux action star Ryan Renyolds in it(this movie).

Review of James Bond Quantum of solace or how bourne killed this series

rating-decent-meh

Sup folks Time for another review/opinion piece this time we tackle the franchise killer that is Quantum of solace. This was the last James bond movie made and for all intents and purposes was a success in regards to $$$ (Budget $200 million
Gross revenue $586,090,727) but in terms of continuing a series it was AWFUL.



First thing first lets go into the whats and whys of this movie. Its picks up pretty much right after "Casino Royale" and almost right away they "borrow" from the bourne series and when its not doing that its tripping all over itself stylistically. The plot is that a organization is trying to manipulate the worlds resources to maintain wealth and power. This sounds exciting and dramatic but in essence its really just a rapey Frenchman stealing water from Boliva. In the history of bond that has to be the weakest arc ever. The bond women consisted of a girl who he met and bedded and was killed in the span of 15 min and a Russian tanned to play a Spanish girl who he never slept with. The movie flowed well and the action made sense in the spots that there was action so no complaints there. The issue I think was the willful decision to be a bourne film and in doing so killed the series dead.



The Bourne series which is one of my favorite collection of films caused this and Let me show you why. Every shaky cam Krav Maga style fight and parkour jump roof to roof in this movie screams Bourne. Its as if they made a decision to copy all of what was cool in the Bourne films without realizing they were doing a bond movie. I saw Casino Royale and like most people enjoyed it but deep down I was scared that in the reboot they would change what made James Bond James Bond with this moody asshole. I am not saying go back to the foolishness that was die another day but a middle ground should be found. If they made a fourth Bourne film where he met a girl with a silly double entandre name and bedded her at the conclusion of the adventure we would bitch. I think another reboot(i hate this practice BTW) is in order which pretends the last two movies never happened and get back to easy to build on Bond action and save the innovation for movies like Bourne and Hanna.

Review of the first Half of season 6 of Dr Who

meh-ok

Hey folks as you know I am a huge Doctor Who fan so much so that I almost rubber stamped this epic and kept it moving. I am not doing this however because there was HUGE holes that I cannot ignore. Knowing that they had a few episodes before they went off for the summer and you know we waited ninth months since the end of season 5 the episode selection was sub par in my opinion. When the season started It was all good one hundred million percent. Impossible astronaut/Day of the moon was fantastic feeling more like a Movie then episodes of a TV show. I truly enjoyed how much set up for the season was done making my anticipation for the series ramp up to a fever pace by the time the credits rolled. Then something sad happened "the curse of the black spot" come on and stopped everything with a useless episode. This thing was so banal and cheap that I was shocked that it was even made to be honest. This is the first time I took notice of Moffets things that are ever present being dangers(statues,reflections,12 foot aliens that erase themselves from your mind. Also the villain the pie faced Lily Cole turns out to be a space nurse and the pirate thing was grating.



Then like a gift from god himself "the doctors wife" came on and was so fantastic that I got mad at how bad last weeks episode was and how a week was wasted on crap. This story gave a nod to the History of Dr Who and had genuine heart from beginning to end. The only issue I had was over used "Rory is dead or dying" device which has me no longer caring one way or the other. The next episode was fine enough but having a second 2 part episode in a short season was stupid. Also This episode introduces a plot device(the use of fake flesh to create doubles) which was then used to create shitty tension over and over again until the end of the half season. The final episode was good as I enjoy a bad ass Doctor but it showed the full seasons hand and I am kind of left wanting more. I know that anything can happen with 6 full episodes to go but something tells me what we have is what we will end up with more or less. The cliffhanger was not hard to work out and is getting more and more annoying as time goes on. I dislike river song at this point and march closer to hate with every smug appearance. In conclusion this was not the worst thing ever and had some real bright spots but sadly the shitty pacing and curse of the black spot kept this from being great.